⚖
CASE NO. TC-2026-001 · NOTICE OF CLAUSE 001: OPENING STATEMENTS
Friday
6 Nov
Bethnal Green Working Men's Club · Doors 8pm
Admit One · Clause 001
Probation Contract
First ReleaseEarly Bird sold out
£10
Get Tickets →
Then £12

We're creating a party for all the queers you know and love, where the dancefloor is the only contract you need to sign. Terms and Conditions apply.

TERMS AND CONDITIONS★THE QUEER DANCE PARTY★EAST LONDON★EST. 2026★ALL QUEERS WELCOME★NO CUNTS★ TERMS AND CONDITIONS★THE QUEER DANCE PARTY★EAST LONDON★EST. 2026★ALL QUEERS WELCOME★NO CUNTS★
EXHIBIT A
Exhibit A — Event Details

CLAUSE 001: Opening Statements

SEAL
LIFTED
TC-2026
Date
Fri 6 Nov
Doors
8pm
Venue
Bethnal Green Working Men's Club, East London
Music Policy
Everything worth hearing.
Appearing
Schedule of Tickets
Job Offer£8Early BirdOn Sale
Probation Contract£10First ReleaseSoon
Permanent Contract£12Second ReleaseSoon
Executive Contract£14Last ReleaseSoon

⚑ Low Income and Pay it Forward ticket options are also available.

Get Tickets on OutSavvy →
TermsOS — Login
TermsOS
v1.0 · Build 001
Welcome, New Employee
Explore the Clause 001: Opening Statements minisite to find out more about the event...
Begin Onboarding →
● Secure connection--:--
DEFINITIONS
Clause 1 — Definitions

Understand the contract terms

DANCEFLOOR
The only jurisdiction in which these terms apply. All disputes to be resolved herein, by dancing.
THE NIGHT
A queer dance party operating under East London law. Inclusive, irreverent, and set firmly to bring the party.
ATTENDEE
You, if you're lucky. The party of the first part. Welcome.
GOOD TIME
The consideration exchanged by all parties upon entry. Non-negotiable. Cannot be waived.
CLAUSE 001
The first event. Friday 6th November. See above.
QUEER
The whole gorgeous chaotic spectrum of people who have ever looked at the world's defaults and thought: not for me, actually.
Internal Comms

GET EMAILS FROM US ON: 'INTERNAL COMMS'

SHOWING UP IS RADICAL § SHOWING UP IS ENOUGH § SHOWING UP IS RADICAL § SHOWING UP IS ENOUGH §
THE DANCEFLOOR IS THE HIGHEST AUTHORITY ★ THE DANCEFLOOR IS THE HIGHEST AUTHORITY ★
MANIFESTO
Clause 4 — The Manifesto

Terms + Conditions

4.3 We believe this space is for queer women and men, trans and cis-gender. Non-binary and gender non-conforming cuties. Sapphic babes. QTIPOC legends. If you have ever looked at the world's defaults and thought: not for me, actually... you are exactly who we had in mind.

4.6 We believe in full humanity. You will not photograph people without their consent. You will not make anyone feel watched, evaluated, or unsafe. You will, to the best of your ability, be excellent to each other. This is the whole document. Everything else is detail.

4.9 We believe that queer joy is political. It has always been political. Going out and dancing and being completely yourself in a room full of people like you is, in 2026, still a radical act. We are not being dramatic. We are being accurate.

4.10 We believe this will be worth it. We believe it every time, and so far we have been right.

The Attendee agrees not to be a cunt. This term is defined broadly and applied liberally.
— Clause 5.2, Conduct
DANCEFLOOR JURISDICTION§NO VIP SECTION§FULL HUMANITY§QUEER JOY IS POLITICAL§SHOWING UP IS RADICAL§TRUST THE DJ§ DANCEFLOOR JURISDICTION§NO VIP SECTION§FULL HUMANITY§QUEER JOY IS POLITICAL§SHOWING UP IS RADICAL§TRUST THE DJ§
Clause 10 — Limitation of Liability
Terms and Conditions accepts no liability for: lost keys; lost phones; lost inhibitions (this is a feature); falling in love with a stranger on the dancefloor; emotional breakthroughs; new friendships formed in queue lines; or the specific joy of a perfectly timed drop.

Terms and Conditions accepts full liability for: trying our best; caring about this; meaning every word.
Schedule 1

The Full Terms

PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING TERMS AND CONDITIONS CAREFULLY BEFORE PROCEEDING. WE KNOW YOU WON'T. THAT IS, IN FACT, THE ENTIRE JOKE. BUT IF YOU ARE READING THIS — AND STATISTICALLY SPEAKING, YOU ARE ONE OF APPROXIMATELY FOUR PEOPLE WHO WILL — THEN CONGRATULATIONS. YOU ARE EXACTLY THE KIND OF PERSON WE ARE MAKING THIS NIGHT FOR. HOLD ON TO THAT FEELING. IT WILL BE RELEVANT LATER. (SEE CLAUSE 47: THE REWARD.)

Internal Comms

GET EMAILS FROM US ON: 'INTERNAL COMMS'

Show full terms now skip